Monday…what a day

Days that don’t go as planned seem to happen to me far more often than not. Today was a perfect example. Multiple call offs at work, several hours added on to my work day, no lunch break, lots more stress. As well as lots of opportunities to make excuses to just sit on the couch after work…but I didn’t! Go me 🙂

Not that I did anything spectacular (although all the running around at work totally closed my Apple Watch rings. Does that count?) but I did do my favorite flexibility/stress busting video by Blogilates followed by some extra stretching and a 45 second plank, the challenge of the week. I also stuck with my fasting window, although that was easy all considered, what I’m more proud of diet wise was that I didn’t eat any junk food. It used to be a coping mechanism for me, but I honestly didn’t even crave it today. I craved that workout instead. Be that just from the excitement of starting my planner today or whatever, I’ll take it!

On a side note I found 12¢ to add to my found money jar today, and we bought a powerball ticket. Wouldn’t that be a huge way for my luck to turn around?!? Anyway, I’m going to enjoy the rest of the evening and look forward to better things tomorrow 🙂

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Christmas weekend

Merry Christmas! With my kids being grown, our celebration was nothing big this year. A nice dinner and some stockings for the kids, that’s it. But it was nice nonetheless. It was super nice that this was my weekend off, too, so I was able to enjoy the unseasonably warm weather along with time with family.

Christmas morning started out warm and rainy, I almost didn’t get outside. After a couple cups of coffee and Christmas specials, I finally geared up and got out there. There was no way I wasn’t taking advantage of a day off from work. I had almost forgot how hardcore you feel when you get out and run in the rain! I was able to complete a 5k and earn this cutie that I ordered last year. To say I’m behind on earning some bling is an understatement! There are several virtual medals (and live races converted to virtuals races) I ordered/entered over the last year or so that I’m bound and determined to earn in 2022!

Such a cute medal! Christmas unicorn from US Roadrunning

I was thrilled to cover the 5k distance. I decided I’m going to use this time as a baseline to see how my 5k training pace improves over the next year.

Today was setting the pace for my walking goal for the upcoming year. (Yes, that was a pun…maybe not a great one, but hey, I tried) I got in 3 miles total: a one mile warm up, one mile at the fastest pace I could maintain, and a one mile cool down. That fastest mile ended up being 16 minutes flat. I’m wanting to try speed walking a 5k in 2022 so I wanted a baseline mile. Oh, and since I’m starting my new year early, I’m going to start a jar to see how much change I find over the year. I got to get started on that with a little find today.

So tomorrow is the first day my new planner is useable so my 2022 journey begins a little early. I broke my fast a little early today and indulged just a little. A fast food burger and 3 Reese’s bells…and maybe a higher calorie intake for the day than the rest of last month for a day…but I’m ok with that. I’m actually ready and looking forward to getting right back on track with my 16:8. My measurements are taken and my baselines are set. I’m ready to make this year my best!

The best laid plans of mice and men

You know what they say about the best laid plans. And although I know there is a chance that my plans may not all come to fruition, to have NO plan is worse. After all a goal without a plan is just a dream.

So leading up to the new year I’m currently formulating plans. Well, some plans to at least get the ball rolling in the opening months of 2022. So in no particular order, here is what I have…

1. Use my planner to its fullest potential. I bought a Blogilates fit planner after not making the investment last year. I had one in 2020 and loved it. I used it faithfully up until about July when all hopes of in person races were dashed, and the changing of employers threw everything out of whack. It tracks 99.8% of all the things I want to track, and that last 0.2% can be added in the extra space provided. I want to use everything it offers: trackers, weight and measurement progress, meal planning and tracking, weekly challenges, all of it. I know it will help tremendously because I’m one who loves seeing things written down and checked as “done”.

2. Find a way to fit fitness in to every day. Even just 20 minutes will make a difference at this point. The toughest thing for me is finding the best workouts for work days. Working 10+ hour days makes wanting to do anything other than come home and sit on the couch really difficult. So right now my plan is to run on the days I don’t work, and maybe do pilates, yoga, or another low impact exercise on my work days then go from there.

3. Diet. Ok, this is one I don’t normally talk about because I know some people don’t agree with it, but here goes. After consulting with my doctor about weight loss he suggested intermittent fasting. I’ve been doing it for about a month now and have lost 7 lbs and feel so much better. And to top it off, I know I haven’t even been doing the cleanest fasting either. So my plan is to stick with that, maybe play around with fasting windows to see if that has any effect, and start planning my meals (you know, that whole use my planner up the fullest thing). Also, water…I need to drink more, period.

I have a few other ideas bouncing around inside my brain, but for now I’m keeping it at focusing on these 3. I feel it better to focus on a few things in the beginning and do them to the best of my ability, rather than try to take on many things and do them half-assed.

So there it is. My initial plan of attack. Also, I’m not really waiting until the new year to get started. That planner I mentioned, well, it’s first useable week starts on December 27, so Monday is the big day. Until then, I’m going to enjoy the holiday and just do the best I can.

2022

One year. Three hundred sixty five days. What can one accomplish in that time? What changes can you see? I’ve decided it’s time for a clean slate for a new undertaking. Well, somewhat of a new undertaking. I find myself, for yet another time in my life, back at “square one” if you will. The pandemic was good for my family in some ways, but in the fitness department it was a train wreck for me. The time I thought I’d use for my health, I didn’t.

Now I sit here wondering how I got to the healthiest points in my past. I have journals, but they only start when I’m well on the way to reaching my goals I had at the time. There is no place where I can go back and see the beginnings. So that is what this blog is becoming.

My goal is to post daily in 2022. It may be long and detailed. It may be a photo and a few sentences. But whatever I write for that day, I want it to be something I can look back on and say, “Oh, yeah, I remember…” something I can look back on when I’ve reached a goal and see how I got there.

So there it is. My plan for 2022…well, sort of. I’ll flesh out my plan a bit more in the coming days. I know I have a few people who read this, so if you want to stick with me, cool. If not, that’s cool too. I’m doing this for me, and the me that will look back on this blog in a year and say, “You did good, girl. You did good.”

Today is the day

My finish at the Hall of Fame Marathon half marathon in 2019

I should have been running a marathon today. This year’s Hall of Fame Marathon was supposed to be my return to 26.2 after 20 years. I was so excited when I signed up. I had run the half the four previous years. I know the back half of the course very well (its in my neighborhood). I was up to a 17 mile long run…then the pandemic hit.

At first I held out hope that maybe, just maybe, it wasn’t going to be as bad as all the doomsday minded people who were surrounding me were saying it was going to be. But then schools closed, businesses closed, and stay at home orders were put in place. Then the announcement came. The race was cancelled. Honestly, my training hadn’t been all that great, and I probably would have went into my race a bit unprepared so I was ok with it.

I figured I would keep running at a lower intensity and just keep going. I had been furloughed from work so I had all kinds of time. It would be easy, right?

Well it wasn’t, and I didn’t.

I almost stopped running altogether. I did walk every day so I wasn’t totally inactive, but I know my fitness level has dropped. I let myself enjoy not having the pressure of a training schedule as well as not having to be at work with a general manager who makes me feel like I’m absolutely inadequate. It was what I needed.

But now what I need is to start the path to becoming the runner and athlete I want to be now.

I think my running had gotten stale, my mindset predictable and because of that I had plateaued hard and was just going through the motions. I’ve been inspired to make changes from many places. From a post here about reinventing yourself as a runner, to seeing people in my neighborhood doing their best in their own fitness goals, to a friend I met through Instagram who has shared her weight loss journey and her fitness program with honesty and an enthusiasm that has made me want to do more.

So what’s the plan? I’m getting it all together, but also being flexible so I can make changes if I need to, but so far my goals are this…

1. I’m starting the “ground zero” plan in my marathon training book. I don’t think I’m truly at ground zero, but this will let me ease back in to running and I’ll be able to judge from there my next step.

2. I’ve decided to give functional fitness workouts a try. Maybe not cross fit per se, but something similar. I’ve downloaded a WOD generator on my phone, and have tried a couple workouts. They’ve kicked my butt and left me sore, but I feel so good when I do them. I’m excited to try another, and that is something I haven’t felt about a workout in a while.

3. Speaking of downloading, I re-downloaded the My Fitness Pal app. I’m not necessarily good at logging my food everyday, and I have mixed feelings about the habit of neurotically tracking every single morsel of food that crosses your lips, but I do think having an idea of what you eat every day helps to identify where your diet falls short and why you’re not seeing changes in your body.

4. Finally, and most importantly, I’m going to remind myself every day that, even if I didn’t hit all my goals, even if my day wasn’t perfect, that I did the best I could. That this is a learning experience. That this is an ever changing journey. That I have another chance to change any time I have a new decision to make. If I’ve learned nothing else about myself it’s that if I focus on the negative that that doesn’t motivate me. That all or nothing doesn’t work. And belittling yourself doesn’t fix any problems.

They say you have to start somewhere, here’s my starting point. Where this path of my journey takes me next, I don’t know for sure. But I’ll be thankful for each step as it helps me to grow and learn more about myself.

That’s all she wrote, folks!

Why do people start a run streak? For many it starts with a social media challenge. That’s how it started for me. Runner’s World had a holiday runstreak that was going to run from Thanksgiving through the New Year. I figured what the hell, it couldn’t hurt to try, right? I mean, if I made it the entire streak great! If not I gave it my best shot. It was all good.

I met a lot of people also taking part in the challenge at that time. A group of us decided to carry on. A Facebook group was created and the runstreak continued to Valentine’s Day. Then Saint Patrick’s Day. Then May Day. Then it just took off from there. It was fun and exciting and challenging. Just how far could I go? How long could this streak last? It was, after all, started rather inadvertently. I was curious to see so I just kept running.

I received the opportunity to be a brand ambassador for a few different groups during my streak. It was a wonderful experience sharing my story and encouraging others in their own journey. I also started racing again. It started with a virtual 5k I found with a tiger on the medal…how could I not enter that?!? Again, it became an exciting challenge to see just how far and fast I could go. In the end I estimate I ran about 115 races in total including 28 half marathons. I traveled and ran and had a great time.

My streak reached 100 days, 500 days, 1,000 days. I couldn’t believe that before all this started I was coming back from an injury. I ran in every type of weather imaginable. Races from 5k to 25k, during illness, early morning, late at night, after 15 hour work shifts. It was amazing fun.

At some point, though, it wasn’t as fun as it once was. I had incredibly low points where it took everything I had to run that one mile to keep my streak going. I saw people obsess over things like “Does walking during part of your mile disqualify you from your streak?” (The answer from the group where this was posted…not the original group of streakers I started out with, but another…was an overwhelming yes.) or “Should I base my run on my time zone or the one I’m currently in?”, or “If I start my run before midnight but finish after midnight does it count?” It started occurring to me more and more that maybe this kind of rigid streaking wasn’t what I came to enjoy. I still ran my streak my way, but the whole experience with this group of hardcore streakers left a foul taste in my mouth. This is when I started debating letting my streak go.

In the end I kept running. Up to today. I’ve enjoyed my streak, it’s been a great experience, but I think it’s time to move on to the next. I know I said I was going to wait until the end of the month, but my hip is still dodgy and in all honesty, I don’t think running a mile for the sake of adding a few more days is really what I want. So 1,700 days it is. In the end I am getting what I want. What is that? Well, I’m ending on a nice round number. My type-A personality loves that, but even more importantly I’m ending it on my terms. I remember a podcast where a streaker was being interviewed and when asked when their streak would end, their reply was they weren’t sure when just that they wanted it to be on their terms.

I think that’s the best way. Not to have to give up because of injury or illness or unforeseen circumstances, but to say, “I did good. I’m happy and I’m done.” That’s how I’m ending my streak. I’m happy, no I’m more than happy with myself. With my accomplishments. With all I’ve been able to do. I’m satisfied and ready to let it go. I’m at peace with it.

What now? I’m not quite sure. I’d like to get a gym membership. I’d like to get my bike tuned up. I’m definitely not giving up running…I do have a 50 half marathons before I turn 50 goal after all, and just because I’m not running every day doesn’t mean I’m not going after that goal. Actually, I plan to crush that one 😉 I’m ready to try some new things. I’m ready to enjoy some extra time with my family doing leisure time stuff. I’m ready to just walk with my hubby and enjoy it without thinking, “Oh, I still need to get a run in today.”

To all the streakers our there, do your thing. As long as that fire burns you keep going. But don’t be afraid to let it go either. Life has so much to offer that if and when that flame goes out there are millions of other possibilities to keep your soul happy. I guess in the end my big though is this…You only get one go round on this planet, as long as you’re not hurting anyone, do what makes you happy. And if anything doesn’t spark that joy in your soul anymore, find what does. Don’t be afraid to change, and grow, and live happy.

All that said I’m honestly looking forward to not running tomorrow. I think I’ll go for a nice walk, maybe do some yoga or Pilates, or maybe I’ll just take some time to sit and breathe. I know when I get out for that next run it will be all the more sweet…and who knows, maybe I’ll try a streak again someday!

The Wadsworth Matchstick Challenge Half Marathon

I can hardly believe that spring has come and gone! It seems like just a few weeks ago we were saying goodbye to the winter snows and the trees were just starting to bud. I have to say that in my little corner of the world our springtime, while blooms having added a pop of color, was full of gray skies and rain. I mean lots of rain. In our area we’ve been dealing with flooding, damp basements, waterlogged everything, and lawns growing wild because it’s nearly impossible to get out to mow. But every once in a while we get a glorious, not too hot, sunny day. One of those days just happened to fall on June 21st…Matchstick Challenge Half Marathon race day!

Scrolling my Facebook feed a couple weeks ago I was surprised when a post for an evening half marathon popped up. I was hoping to get one last spring half in before taking a break for the hot summer months, and this one was nearby (only 35 minutes away) and affordable (I think it was $45 when I entered and I entered kind of late) so I took the plunge. I mean, a race on a Friday evening? No early wake up? No interfering with my work schedule? A festival going on at the same time so my hubby/support crew would have something to do? Could it get any better? Turns out, it was as perfect as I thought it could be and more!

I went on Thursday evening to pick up my packet early. I figured it was one less stressor on race day. I’d know exactly where I needed to be on race day and ready to go. The volunteers were beyond friendly and helpful. It was a quick process and I was on my way home pretty quickly.

Race day arrived and it was nice to not have to get up early or rearrange my schedule. I work a restaurant lunch shift, so I just brought my gear with me, worked my shift then changed afterwards. My hubby picked me up after my shift and we were on our way!

We arrived in Wadsworth with plenty of time to park and find the starting line. It was less than a mile away so we just skipped the shuttle and walked there. We arrived with lots of time to settle in and relax before the race.

This was a smaller race (around 160 runners) so it was a nice change from the big races I had run earlier this year. It was well organized and friendly, which I really liked. We started promptly at 6:15, and once on the course you realize that they aren’t kidding when they talk about rolling hills and it not being a course for a PR. The first 7 miles were an out and back past the matchstick factory, through neighborhood streets to a gravel park walking path and it was hilly! The streets were beautifully shaded and welcoming, and even with all the climbing, it was incredibly enjoyable.

The course ran back past the stadium around mile 7. We ran past the participants of the 5k and 10k races which were also being run in conjunction with the half. The other runners were cheering us on, giving us high fives and so supportive. It was a great pick me up at the halfway point. I also liked the fact that since the shorter races started later, it gave us a little bigger crowd to run with at the end. Being such a small half we were getting pretty spread out, so I liked having some runners added to the mix.

The second half of the course was all neighborhood streets filled with lots of residents cheering on us runners. I have to say, the support for this race was amazing!! I was starting to feel the miles toward the end (I forgot to bring any fuel and probably should have grabbed a second GU from the aid station just before the stadium) so I was happy to see a couple kids from the neighborhood handing out tootsie pops. I very happily thanked the girl and took one for the extra sugar I needed. I was also able to grab a small bottle of water from one of the aid stations which I could carry with me to the finish which was pretty awesome too.

Ah, the finish! We finished at Art Wright Stadium and it was awesome! As you entered the stadium there were people cheering, ringing cow bells and holding signs. My goal for this race was really just to enjoy myself. I told my hubby I planned on maybe a 2:30, but as I neared the finish line I couldn’t believe my eyes. I don’t know if it’s the fact that I really enjoy running hills, or that this race was run when I normally do my daily runs or what, but the clock said 2:17! I crossed the finish line, got my medal then made my way to the water, food and my race crew.

We made our way to the festival area where we took in the sights and gots some festival food before the drive home. It had been a long time since I had funnel cake or fried Swiss cheese on a stick…and why not get some, I’d been moving all day long. I kinda earned it, right? 🙂

After checking the results I found that I had placed 3rd in my age group! There were no age group awards at the race this year, which is kind of disappointing, but on the other hand I know I placed and really, do I need a trinket to remind me? Not really, I know what I earned with my effort and that’s what matters. Overall this was a great race, and I’d totally recommend running it. From the organization, to crowd support, to the unique start time and after race festival, it’s well worth running!

As for summertime, well I’m not very good with hot weather and my body is telling me it needs a break, so my plan is just to run to run for a while. I’m going to work on more general fitness as well. More stretching, Pilates, maybe some heavier weight training and even getting the bike out for some miles. I’m not signed up for any races until November at this point, but we all know how things can change, lol. For now, however, I’m just going to enjoy the summer months and whatever adventures they bring my way!

The Indy Mini, challenge week 5, and lessons learned

What a week’s it’s been! Going back to last Sunday where I ran the Pro Football Hall of Fame Half Marathon to this past Saturday when I ran the Indy Mini Half Marathon, it’s been quite a whirlwind! So much has happened and I learned a lot about myself and things I want to work on.

So let’s get started with the exciting stuff. I will write about the Hall of Fame Half a bit later, right now I want to tell you all about the Indy Mini while everything is still fresh in my mind. I’ve never stayed in Indianapolis before so everything was new. We stayed at a hotel right next to Lucas Oil Stadium so everything was within walking distance and we were near an easy to find landmark, so that was cool.

After settling in, my hubby and I did a little walking to familiarize ourselves with the area. While more industrial than Tulsa, where I ran this past November, Indianapolis was still clean and pretty with lots of pedestrian friendly areas and art to enjoy. Not to mention a huge 4 story mall and lots of great places to eat!

I found out when I got there there was going to be a shakeout run on Friday morning. I’m usually a solo runner, but thought what the heck, a chance to run somewhere rather than the treadmill…I’ll do it! Well, this was one choice I made that I actually second guessed until I decided to take it as a learning experience. It was a small group, and I got to meet a Rob, Twitter friend who I have known through social media for a while, which was super awesome. Not so awesome? It made me feel so slow and inadequate running with this group. I ended up a good ways behind the main group, and had it not been for Rob checking back on me and Shane (another ambassador I had just met that morning) dropping back to run with me I totally would have turned around and ran back on my own. It was kind of spirit crushing, especially when the run says “all are welcome”. I know I take things way to personally, and this was one of those times. Believe it or not I’m tearing up thinking of it now. I did stick with it, however, and did enjoy the opportunity to not run inside.

After the run we made our way over to the expo, which was very well organized and efficient. There were lots of vendors there with samples, coupons and great stuff. The rest of the evening was spent with my hubby enjoying the city.

Race day we woke to gray skies and the local weather calling for rain. I wasn’t worried as I tend to run better in not-so-great weather anyway. The starting area was well marked with plenty of portable toilets. For the size of the crowd it was a comfortable atmosphere. After getting into my corral I just focused on relaxing and reminding myself to have fun and to take in the scenery.

The course itself is pretty darn flat, through the city to the Indianapolis Motor Speedway. Without a doubt the coolest part of the race. To get to run where they race the Indy 500? How awesome is that!

We wound our way back to the city, and this is where I hit another “lesson learned” point. Because I tend to start conservatively, I also tend to run negative splits from about 6 miles on. Well, because of the size of the race this was also the point where I started to get frustrated at the size of the crowd and my inability to pass runners I was gaining on. It’s not anyone’s fault that this was the case. I know how I run, and everyone is focused on their own race, so it was what it was. It did make me wonder, though, if things might be different if I actually trained to race the distance. Would being further up in the crowd work better? Would there be less crowding in a different part of the pack? Like the shakeout run, I tried my best to brush it off and enjoy the race.

After winding through the streets the downtown skyline cane into view and the atmosphere was electric. I love the finish line energy! We raced through crowds of cheering spectators (who were braving the light rain that had started falling as soon as my wave took off!), balloons and checkered flags, and lots of upbeat music. It was awesome! I crossed the finish line with a chip time of 2:23:03, not too bad!

I collected my medal and goodies, and made my way to where the after party was. I have to admit to not sticking around for the party, although it did look like there was lots of things to do and lots of room to spread out. I was just cold and tired and soaked to the bone…not to mention on a timeline to check out of the hotel in time. One thing I will be changing next time I go on a racecation, no more leaving on race day.

Overall it was an excellent experience, and while there are things I would have changed, I would definitely make the trip back to give the Indy Mini another go!

Now, as for my challenge…well, not my best week. I only did Pilates 3 times and my diet wasn’t the best, but in all honesty enjoying the time with my hubby and being in a new city took priority. I did try to not overindulge, but I did enjoy myself. I was able to keep my sugar intake under control, and with the exception of a monster pastrami and corned beef sandwich, my portion sizes in check as well. No guilt here! I truly enjoyed myself and feel totally ready to get back to doing things 100% now that we’re home 🙂

So there you have it. Week 5 has been an adventure and I loved (and learned a lot from) it all! See you next week at the half way point!

The Get Lucky 50-50 and a 12 week challenge

It’s springtime and new beginnings are everywhere. The birds are coming back, flowers are blooming, the temperatures are rising, and spring races are here!

This past Saturday I ran the Get Lucky 50-50 in Canal Fulton, Ohio. When I saw this event show up in my Facebook feed I noticed that this was the inaugural running. I have to admit I have a love of running inaugural events, and just couldn’t resist signing up! After hitting the “submit payment” button, however, I felt a little wave of panic wash over me (I really hadn’t been training for a long distance race. To be honest, I really don’t follow a training plan ever *insert embarrassed grin and nervous giggle here*) but the excitement of running the longest distance to date since my divorce at a new event was too great to not enter.

The race featured a 50 mile, 50K, and 25K option. I chose the 25K because I knew with my base fitness (and a 15 hour cut off time) I could totally finish in time. There was also a 50/50 drawing for all participants with a pretty nice purse. I didn’t win, but it was a very cool little extra. Now I’ve never entered an event where ultra distances are run, so it was a new experience to see such a friendly, laid back atmosphere. And with about 118 registered runners over all three distances it was a comfortable, enjoyable run. Like running with a huge group of friends. Very cool!

The race was ran entirely on the towpath trail with a few road crossings. At around three miles I saw a couple runners split off which made me nervous. I thought I had missed a turn, so I picked up the pace a bit to catch up with a couple runner who I ended up running the next 5 miles with. They were experienced ultra runners who were kind and gave me all kinds of tips on running long distances, good races to try and just plain fun chatter.

One of the surprises for me was the aid stations. There weren’t nearly as many as a road race, one station every 5 miles or so, but oh the FOOD! Eggs, bacon, cookies, soup, sandwiches, fruit…you name it! The runners I had run with told me the longer the distance the more you want real food on the run. I opted for some Nutty Buddies which tasted amazing.

The weather was perfect and I felt great the whole way. The only pressure was the pressure I put in myself, which really only came in the last half mile where I wanted to finish strong. My finish time was 2:46:24 which was 5th of 15 in my age group and 24th overall. Not too shabby!!

After crossing the finish line and collecting my finisher’s medal I made my way to a little local tavern that was serving up free corned beef, cabbage and beer for the runners. It was a warm, super tasty way to wrap up a terrific morning!

I had such a great time running the Get Lucky 50-50 that I’m already planning on running it next year. I loved the laid back atmosphere, well stocked aid stations, and beautiful course. It has also made me consider seriously looking in to running some ultras. Overall, it was a fun time that I would recommend to someone looking for a first taste of the ultra running world.

Next up on the calendar is the Run For Home Half Marathon. One of my favorites because it’s local and doesn’t start until 11am!

Now, as much as I LOVE running, I know I’ve become a terribly unbalanced athlete. My flexibility stinks and I’ve noticed too much softness in my body due to lack of cross training. This past month I took on the Blogilates monthly workout calendar and feel like I’ve made some progress there. Add to that Cassie’s infectious energy in her videos and the fact that she offers her workout plans and videos for FREE, and I had absolutely no problems with ordering a 12 week fitness journal from POPFLEX to continue working on my overall fitness.

Some fun stickers and new pens never hurt either. The pages are perfect for planning and tracking everything. From goals to measurements to food and workouts, there’s room for it all. My biggest goals are to improve my flexibility and increase muscle mass, and I’m excited to see just what I can accomplish in 12 weeks. Stay tuned for updates 😉

With that I’m looking forward to spring and all the changes it brings. Here’s hoping we all have a great springtime season!!

Rejection

Well, it happened again. I put myself out there to be an ambassador for something and got rejected. And yes, I’m going to write about it…all the feels and everything because, well, this is my blog and I can. I’m not going to sit here and pretend like it doesn’t hurt a bit, it does, but it also is a great opportunity to grow and realize a lot of positives.

I know that most organizations pick very few ambassadors to represent them. They have their reasons…I’m sure it gets expensive for them with the premiums they send to ambassadors, they want the ones that will spread their product/service to the most people, etc., but it amazes me when I see the same few people with several ambassadorships. Sour grapes, maybe a little, but it is what it is. And honestly, once my own initial disappointment wears off, I am excited for those chosen. It is an honor for sure.

All that said, my hurt with this last bout with rejection didn’t last all that long. Did I want this ambassadorship? Heck yeah! Did my world end because I didn’t get it? Heck no!! As a matter of fact, It’s been a blessing in disguise. How is that? Well, for a couple reasons.

1. It frees me up. As much as I would have promoted the crap out of what I had applied for, I wasn’t what they were looking for…and that’s ok. Now I don’t have to feel tied to social media, or a date, or a product or anything like that. If I want to step away from social media, I can. If I want to do something else, I can. It’s actually a pretty good feeling.

2. I proves to me that I have grown and am stronger than before. There was a time when I would have been crushed by rejection. I would have cried, binge eaten, just plain withdrew from everything. Now? Not so much. I was able to acknowledge the disappointment and hurt, then move on. That’s some serious progress for me and I’m proud of that.

3. It’s motivated me. It’s motivated me to support others. It’s motivated me to continue to work toward my goals. It’s motivated me to continue working on my personal growth.

Rejection is something we all deal with. It’s something I fear that more and more people in our modern era of “everything is great, always be positive, you are the best” are losing the ability to cope with. It’s something that isn’t as bad as people want to think it is. It’s ok to be upset, angry, or bitter for a little while. That’s human! But it’s important to learn and move on. That’s healing…that’s healthy…that’s progress.

So, what will I do now? Well, I move on! Do I try to change because I didn’t get chosen? Nope! I wasn’t what this particular organization wanted, but that doesn’t mean I’m not good enough in any way. I have been (and AM) what other organizations have been looking for, and may be again in the future. I will continue to be myself, to work for what I want, and strive for my goals. I would much rather be who I am and not be chosen for something, than be something I’m not just to have a title.

Here’s to all of us who have dealt with rejection and came out the other side stronger, wiser, and better. Keep being your awesome selves!!