A 90 day journey

Long time no see. I have to admit to not seeing the progress I had hoped for this year. I’m most definitely not moving backwards, but the steps forward have been small. So I’ve decided to take the next 90 days to focus in physically and mentally. I will be keeping a personal journal, but will be sharing some here as well.

Today is day one. Overall a good day. My diet was good, I drank my water, and got in 45 minutes of exercise. I gave myself the journal prompt of “What if….?” Here is my entry.

Day one: What if….?

There can be no doubt that running is a very numbers-centric activity. How many miles did you run? What’s your pace? What’s your fastest 5k? Your resting heart rate? Your monthly miles? Your VO2 max? Your cadence? It goes on and on. It’s easy to get caught up in it. Up to and including what distance you’re going to run in your next race…which seems to be the number that’s giving me the roughest time right now. You see, I signed up for a half marathon this coming October. And it’s been stressing me out.

So, I’ve been thinking…what if I don’t train for it? Ok, that’s not quite what it sounds like on the surface. Of course I would run to get ready for it, to do anything else would be foolish. But I wouldn’t “train” for it. I feel like the thought of “x” number of miles, or a long run that’s “x” numbers of miles long, or running at “x” pace is creating such pressure for me it’s tricking my brain into thinking it’s unattainable. I know that’s not the case. Not anywhere near, but the psyche is a powerful thing. If your mind believes something is too hard…it will be.

What’s the plan then? Well I’m going to try to revert back to my mindset of several years ago. When I first started my journey toward half marathoner after my divorce. It didn’t start out as a journey to the half marathon. It was a journey to get fit. To lose weight. To be healthy. To have FUN. “Run for fun until I’m done”, that was my mantra. I headed out for each run with the intention for running a mile, then maybe more, or maybe less. It all depended on when it didn’t feel like fun anymore. If it was one mile, cool! If it was more, cool! The point was it was always fun, no pressure.

I really feel that’s what I need right now. So I guess the better “What if…?” Is what if I don’t worry about the numbers? The distance? The pace? Just get out and run consistently. Consistency will improve my fitness and my running. It’s how I got back to longer distance running before, and I truly believe it’s going to help me get back again.

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